题目

请英语大神帮忙看一下这段话有没有语法错误,
As is portrayed in the first picture,a young man is a fan of Beckham,who witted Beckham’s name on his face to show his love to Beckham.What’s more,some people even cost 300 Yuan to have a same hair with their idol.Those thought-provoking photos should arouse deep concern in our current society.
What are the reasons behind the trend?Some individuals point out that they see their idol as a hero which they should learn form.Now something similarly could happen in schoolboys.In a study that will appear in Journal of Society,Peking Uniwersity reashers survived more than 2000 premery school students,the find that 67.6% of those surveyed said that:as a fans they always perches something about their idols.Over half of this students cost at least 300 Yuan a month to buy CD,T-shirt which have their idol’s name or photo on it and soon.
Hence,it is vital for us to take some effective actions.On the one hand,we should appeal to our governments and schools to educate citizens and children do not obsession idols.On the other hand,we should cultivate people’s sense that too much imitate idols will bring more harm than benefit.

提问时间：2020-10-21

答案

As is portrayed in the first picture,a young man is a fan of Beckham,who witted Beckham’s name on his face to show his love to Beckham.What’s more,some people even cost 300 Yuan to have a same hair with their idol.Those thought-provoking photos should arouse deep concern in our current society.
portray vt.画像；描述；描绘；描画
请改为下面的
As is vividly portrayed in the first picture,a young man is a fan of Beckham who wrote Beckham's name on his face to show his affection to Beckham,what's more,some people even spend 300RMB (in) getting the same hairstyle with their idol .Those thought-provoking photos should arouse a deep concern in the society of today .