题目

求大神改一改我的雅思作文,剑桥7t1的小作文
This table illustrates the data ofconsumers spending on various items in the following five countries,Ireland,Italy,Spain,Sweden and Turkey in 2002.
According to the table,it’s obvious that Irelandand Turkey spent the most percentage of money,while 28.91% for Ireland and32.14% for Turkey,on food,drinks and tobacco.The other 3 countries had similarpercentage at an average of nearly 17%,which is far lower than the previouscountries.Then in the item of clothing and footwear Italy stood out with a 9%and the rest of the countries range from 5% to 7%.Different from the former 2items,countries spending didn’t vary too much from each other in the item ofleisure and education.Italy went to 4.35% and Spain sit at 1.98%.
Every country has its unique way of life.Wecan judge them only through consumers spending,but it may be better if wespend more money on education and leisure.

提问时间：2021-03-15

答案

This table illustrates the [data](normally we say illustrate the changes or the situation, or show you the data )of consumers spending on various items in [the following five countries, ](omit them!)Ireland, Italy,Spain, Sweden and Turkey in 2002.According to the table, it’s obvious that Irelandand and(!)Turkey spent(I'd rather use account for) the [most](highest) percentage of money, [while](with) 28.91% for Ireland and 32.14% for Turkey, on food, drinks and tobacco. The other 3 countries had [similar](nearly even. Here similar will raise confusion.) percentage at an average of nearly 17%, which is far lower than (that of) the previous countries. Then in the item of clothing and footwear Italy stood out with a 9%and the rest of the countries range from 5% to 7%. [Different from](in contrast with) the former 2items, [countries](the countries') spending didn’t vary too much from each other in the item of leisure and education. Italy went to 4.35% and Spain sit at 1.98%.[Every country has its unique way of life](It's the people not the country that have their way of life. I'd rather say People in different countries have different life styles.). We can judge them only through consumers spending[, but](.But) it may be better if [we](they) spend more money on education and leisure.
注:中括号里的内容是觉得有问题的部分,之后括号内的内容是给出的替换.时间关系只能说这么多了,希望能帮到你.