题目

如果您有时间请帮我看看作文
In recent years,many young people decide to further their study abroad.Do you think the advantages of study abroad outweigh its disadvantages?
Every morning we open our eyes,we found that we born in this rapidly changing society,in particular,in terms of working and studying etc.if you are an aficionado of the studying abroad “debate”,you have probably read at one time or another that current trends in this controversy shows that there is two opinions in this question,which is treat him as the angel,and other individuals think him is the demon.The way I see it,I am totally agree with this point which is think he is the angel.
Studying abroad may create substantial benefits.To begin with,this practice can help foster a strong sense of achievement in many students when they had fulfilled their school work.Secondly,it is not unrealistic that studying abroad could widen their knowledge and broaden their outlook.Technically,studying abroad could bring far-reaching effects for people ‘s life.Last but no least,it is not uncommon that students may gain higher salary when they came back to China.
On the other hands,China is a country which is developing all the time.So that when we go some developed countries[e.g,USA,UK,NASA]we must to pay higher fees.For instance,if a student complete his high-education in china,he will pay the fees between $8000-$9000,yet if he fulfill his university time in USA,the fees will between$100000-$120000.
Hegel said:what is rational is real,and what is real is rational.This shows that there is any thing has its profound significance,but everything has two sides,has its merits,must have its shortcomings.We come in this information explosion of the community needs the objective dialectical materialism we see things,if he is more good than harm,to promote him,and if more harm than good ,to limit his.
In the final analysis,despite of the negative effects such as higher fees,I am convinced that incited students studying abroad is in the interest of the individuals and the society as a whole,thanks a lot.

提问时间：2020-12-07

答案

1.further their study abroad
=>In recent years,more and more people inclined to make up their minds to go and study abroad .
2.Every morning we open our eyes,we found that we born in this rapidly changing society,in particular,in terms of working and studying etc.(汉语式英语)
=> We have witnessed that the society takes rapid and sound development currently ,particularly in scientific research and our working environment .
3.you have probably read at one time or another that current trends in this controversy shows that there is two opinions in this question,which is treat him as the angel,and other individuals think him is the demon.（无法说是好坏,只能是个人观念中的优缺点吧）
=> you probably have read（感觉是这个语序吧） the current debate many times which goes like this as the controversy described ,that is a great number of people speak highly of studying abroad while many ones opposed to it seriously .
4.The way I see it,I am totally agree with this point which is think he is the angel.
=>However ,from my point of view ,I am totally agree with the former .
5.There are several reasons to account for the phenomenon and it would be a great benefit to us .(过度···)
6.On the other hands,China is a country which is developing all the time.(没必要用从句吧,累赘,要不改一下··)
=>On the other hands,It's well known that China has been continuously developing in recent years ,
7.So that when we go some developed countries e.g,USA,UK,NASA]we must to pay higher fees.（感觉主从顺序有点不舒服）
=> So that we must pay higher fees when we go some developed countries such as USA,UK,and NASA,
8.This shows that there is any thing has its profound significance（意译,改进）
=> It shows us the concept that everything is matched with the real meaning of its existence.However ,As a popular saying goes,every coin has two sides ,both the perfection and the imperfection .
9.We come in this information explosion of the community needs the objective dialectical materialism we see things（汉语式）
=>It urgently require the objective dialectical materialism in this era of information explosion ···
只是个人观点···
总体感觉你汉语化有点严重,我都怀疑你是直接把中文放到网页或是软件上翻译的···这样改,还不如你给我汉语翻译的快呢··
像是：if he is more good than harm,to promote him,and if more harm than good ,to limit his.直接~
语序尤其是从句