题目

英语高手来,帮我看看这篇作文!
我英语不是很好,大家帮我看看这篇作文有没有什么地方不对,帮我指出改正,
Music is wonderful thing,it can makes us hapyy,excited and touched,even sad,so I like it very much.
Listening to lively music can cheer me up when I was sad.
I enjoy listening to music more and more,and pop music is my favorite music,sometimes it will makes me want to dance.
Do you also enjoy listening to music?If you also enjoy it,let's become friends!
那个一楼的怎么那么不礼貌啊！我承认我英语很烂，写得不好，那你也不能说不伦不类吧？而且一楼的除了告诉我will,can后加动词原形之外，都没有帮我纠正其他错误了，一楼的那位也不是很厉害嘛~

提问时间：2020-11-20

答案

Music is a wonderful thing.I like music because it can make me happy,excited,touched,and even sad sometimes.
Listening to lively music cheers me up when I am sad.
I enjoy listening to music more and more.Pop music is my favorie genre of music; sometimes it makes me wanting to dance.
Do you also enjoy listening to music?If you do,let's become friends!
语法上基本没有问题,只是有些地方比较拗口.有些地方有重复罗嗦的嫌疑,我改了一下.第一句话少了一个 a,可能是笔误.第二句我改成了因果句式,更连贯一些.第三句基本没有问题,我把助动词 can 去掉,更主动一点.第四句其实表达了两个意思,所以要分成两句.Will 是多余的.既然是一般时态,将来时就免了吧.最后一句里的 also enjoy it 是多余的因为上一句里已经有了 do you also enjoy.
希望能帮到你忙.
PS：三楼的翻译一看就是用软件翻的,还装.