题目

study plan改错 悬赏迟点再加
STUDY PLAN
My name is xxx,I was born in Mar,l99x.From xxx to xxx I studied at xxxx School,and from xxx to now I'm at xxxx middle School.
I am a responsible,Friendly and warmhearted person.I have so many hobbies
,such as swimming,skating,playing football,and listening to music .I especially like listening to punk music,such as sum 41 ,simple plan……These band are great,
In recent years,many friends and classmates of mine go to study abroad.Of course have study In the Canada.,From my friends and the Internet I know that Canada is a beautiful country with so many beautiful sceneries.It not only has good learning environment but also owns an advanced education system and science.This makes me yearn to study in the Canada.So I told my family about my idea,they quite agree with idea.They expected me to study more knowledge from abroad.I believe that I will not make them disappointed through my hard studying..Now I will entrust my friend to submit my application to the education department in Richmond,British Columbia.
If I can study in Canada,I will plan to major in natural science.I really like natural science since was a child.I know that Canada's natural science is a leading international status.In natural science,I prefer physics and psychology.Now I am drawing up a study plan.My plan is to complete my courses in senior high school in order to make further progress in my English to go to my ideal university to major in natural science
My parents have only one son,I hope I could repay them and my motherland when I finish my studies I will go back to my country.There I want to share the reasons with you
Firstly,I am Chinese,It's China to support me and I shouldn't forget her favor
.Secondly,It's my duty.I should to come back to take care of my parents according to Chinese tradition..I believe that at that time China must have fully developed,which will provide with much bigger space for me to put my talent to good use.
Studying in Canada will help me to realize the life's leap.Thanks for taking your time to read my words.Kindly please consider my application and give a young ambitions man a chance to realize his dream.
Sincerely,
xxx
Date Aug 30,2010

提问时间：2020-07-27

答案

My name is xxx,I was born in Mar,199x.From xxx to xxx I studied at xxxx School,and from xxx to now I'm at xxxx middle School.
I am a responsible,friendly and warmhearted person.I have so many hobbies,such as swimming,skating,playing football,and listening to music.In particular,I like listening to punk music,such as sum 41,simple plan and so on.I think these bands are great.
In recent years,many friends and classmates of mine go to study abroad.Some of them go to Canada.From my friends and the Internet I know that Canada is a beautiful country with so many beautiful sceneries.It not only has good learning environment but also owns an advanced education system and science.That makes me yearn to study in Canada.So I tell my family about my decision,they quite agree with me.They expect me to study more knowledge from abroad.I believe I will not let them down because I will work hard.Now I am entrusting my friend to submit my application to the Education Department in Richmond,British Columbia.
If I can study in Canada,I will major in natural science.I really like natural science since I was a child.I know that Canada's natural science is a leading international status.In natural science,I prefer physics and psychology.Now I am drawing up a study plan.My plan is to complete my courses in senior high school and make further progress in English,and then go to my ideal university to major in natural science.(由于句子太长,我分解了一下.)
I am the only one son in my family,so I hope I can repay my parents and my motherland after I finish my studies.I will go back to my country,here I would like to share the reasons.
First,I am Chinese,It's China that supports me so I shouldn't forget her favor.Secondly,it’s my duty to come back to take care of my parents in accordance with Chinese tradition.I believe at that time China must have fully developed,which will provide me with much bigger space to put my talent to good use.
Studying in Canada will help me to realize my life's leap.Thanks for taking your busy time to read my words.Please kindly consider my application and give a young ambitious man a chance to realize his dream.
Sincerely,
xxx
Aug 30,2010
这是我第二次帮你修改.我看你在网上到处发帖,叫人帮你改改,帮你的人却很少.我却很乐意帮你,希望让你得到满意.你的文章总体写得很好,水平很高,继续加油!