题目

the pigeon meets the owl, my english translation
Hello everyone,
I just purchased a second hand book of 50 Classical Chinese stories translated into Modern Chinese. I've translated the first into English and would like your thoughts on the translation and any comments I would like to have.
Shao Yuan (说苑) is a collection of writings put together by Liu Xiang (刘向) around 17 BC during the Western Han Dynasty (西汉）
I'd appreciate your comments, and if you would like to see more of the stories as I try to translate them.
This is an initial translation and I hope to refine it, improving the English, but for now I just want to know if I capture the meaning and if you have any thoughts about what Chinese would think reading this story...
I include the Classical Chinese and modern chinese versions with my english version:
The owl meets the pigeon
Classical Chinese:
第一颗
枭逢鸠 - 说苑
枭逢鸠,鸠日：[子将安之?]枭日：[我将东徒.]鸠日：[何故?]枭日：[乡人皆恶我鸣,以故东徒.]鸠日：[子能
更鸣可矣；不能更鸣,东徒,犹恶子之声.]
Modern Chinese:
第一颗
枭逢鸠
猫头鹰遇见了斑鸠,斑鸠说:[你要到那裏去?]猫头鹰说:[我要搬到东面去.].斑鸠说:[为甚麽缘故呢?] 猫头鹰说:[村裏的人都讨厌我叫的声音,为了这个缘故,我要搬到东面去.]斑鸠说：[你要是能改变了叫的声音,那就好了； 要是不能改变叫的声音,就是搬到东面去,人还是讨厌你的声音的.]
The Owl meets the pigeon
English Translation by Malcolm (陈天歌）
The owl met the pigeon and the pigeon said "Where are you going?" The owl replied: "I must move to the east." The pigeon said “Really, what is the reason?" The owl replied "The village people all dislike the sound I make, therefore I must move to the east." The pigeon then said "You must change the sound you make to one that is good; if you go the east the people there will also dislike your sound."

提问时间：2020-07-25

答案

我的几点意见,仅供参考：
1、斑鸠是有相对应的英语专有名词的,用笼统的pigeon一词代替有失严谨；
2、其中“我要搬到东面去”的主体是猫头鹰,你用的动词是“move”,我认为鸟的迁徙用“migrate”更恰当；
3、译文中反复用“**said”,缺乏变化,不够生动；
4、最后一句话语法错误过多,标点有问题,需要整体重新斟酌.